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I changed my attitude about networking and began to focus on relationships. And I tried to give what I could, which mostly was introducing people to other people. I couldn't make two people like eachother or move forward, but I could introduce them.
In the last six months I've seen significant benefit from the relationships I've developed. I'm not sure why (in other words, I can't say that any particular thing constitutes a secret sauce, or special formula). There have been a number of times when "super networkers" let me down - their own judgement call or "personal policy" didn't make sense to me.
I quietly moved on, without holding a grudge, and went somewhere else. Sometimes I've gone back and the relationship is still great, the timing (or my desire) just wasn't right.
I'll continue to work on relationships, and give where I can. What I've started to do lately is something that I've neglected for a while - that is, ask. And when I ask for things it's been well-received.
I'm not sure how to specifically answer your concern about friend, family and network contacts not giving business that you expect, or that you deserve. I think the only thing you can do is forget about it (very hard to do), continue give, and work on the relationship.
Networking would be a lot easier without the human element... but I'm guessing we won't get away from that anytime soon. So with the human element it remains extremely complex and unpredictable.
Jason Alba
CEO - JibberJobber.com
Don't get me wrong; I don't think I'm ENTITLED to anything. I just know I work hard at building relationships and at times just find it difficult to understand someones thought process.
I never hold a grudge. I used to. It was very painful. But as I've come to understand human behavior more, I quickly move on to something else. But as you stated, it's something that will continue to happen and there isn't a whole lot we can do about it.